Mothers' Day

I am feeling reflective today.  Reflective of the mothers in my life and the mother that I am (and the one I hope to become).

If I had to choose one adjective to describe my mother, it would be selfless.  She is constantly finding ways to serve those around her--usually quietly and never for attention.  For me, she is always willing to drop anything and everything to help out with my girls.  She strives to keep our family ties strong and has always encouraged my siblings and I to be each other's number one cheerleaders.  I know that she loves me deeply and unconditionally.  And in turn, I love and respect her immensely.  I have come to admire her strength even more since my dad died and watching her deal with everything that that entailed.  In spite of her own pain and suffering, she has continued to be a shining example of faith and endurance.  I hope that someday I can come close to being the mother that she is, but she has set the bar high!

Without a doubt in my mind, my mother-in-law is steadfast.  She is completely resolute in whatever she puts her mind to.  This attribute helped her in raising 5 children and being the foster mother to many others.  She does not quit.  She respects others but she doesn't let anyone or anything push her around.  Watching her interact with her granddaughters is truly a magnificent experience.  She craves their presence and truly delights in every moment she is able to spend with them.  She has gone out of her way to make many, many trips here to be with them and is always willing to open up her home to us when we visit.  I am grateful to her for raising Jason to be the man who I love.  Without her perseverance, I know that my life would be very different.

There have been many women in my life who have "mothered" me: grandmothers, neighbors, roommates, friends, aunts, cousins, etc.  Each of them has played a role in helping me to grow.  So thank you too.

As a mother, it is easy for me to see and focus on my shortcomings.  I don't usually feel like I am a great mother or, sometimes, even a competent one.  So today I wanted to take the time to record some of my motherhood victories that I see when I look at my daughters.

Leila is a very independent, energetic girl who loves to learn.  She brings smiles and joy with her wherever she goes.  She keeps me smiling and laughing even when I'm exhausted.  She doesn't want to miss out on anything and soaks in every minute of every day.  She pushes me to do more and try harder to keep up.

Ellie is the yin to Leila's yang as she is calm and easy going.  Her smile will melt your heart instantly and has brightened many days for me.  She is definitely a mommy's girl and I love it.  Watching her face light up whenever she sees me is magical.  She has a quiet strength to her that was evident early as as she quickly conquered her stay in the NICU.

As different as my two girls are, I love them both so much and am grateful that I am their mother.  I never imagined my heart could care more deeply than I do for these two sweet, sweet girls.  Being a mother is tough, but watching my children learn and grow is such a special, unique experience that I wouldn't trade for anything.

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."  --Sophia Loren